What you wish for

I gotta be honest here: I am not knocking it out of the park.

I got the life I dreamt of and I still have days where I’m less than effective, less than decisive, and full of doubt.

If you have a mental rift, it takes time to heal. You try to keep your thoughts elevated so your mind can heal enough that you don’t keep falling into the same thought-ruts. You keep daydreaming. Stay hungry. You keep forgiving yourself for each moment of shame as it arises. You give yourself second chances. It takes time to leave behind the way of life that was punishing you.

I’m doing OK though. My biggest challenge is combining all the things I want to do within the time I have. It’ll take days, weeks, to play out, but I will get there. It’s just the passage of time, that’s all.

Do I have something different, something miraculous, that I can do for myself, with this time, through small actions that accumulate?

Do you?