Teasing out creativity

Why do we do it to ourselves?

You’d think it’d be easy, creating things, when you know you’re a creative person.

To say “I know how to use words,” or “I know how to write music” - and to just do it.

And there probably are people like that, who just wake up every morning and go straight to work and create, create, create, incessantly.

I’m not one of them, yet.

My creativity has to be teased out, enticed to the surface, bribed with all sorts of treats and promises of rest and idleness.

There should be a delight in it - and in using my mind, too.

I question its worth, honestly, in a world that’s already full of creations.

I suppose that is the point - if you can, do. If you have something to say, say it.

Somebody told me that once.

Somtimes, I feel that way. as if it’s an inherent celebration of who I am, my existence, to be able to create this way.

That’s the time to create, I suppose.

There is plenty of other time to do the legwork, deal with the logistics, the research, the practicalities.

To be ready for when that moment strikes, when I give myself permission, when I’m free, when I see the point.

There are people who never get the chance to express themselves that way.

Also I have to embrace that there are a large number of things pulling on my attention.

They’ll only light me up for short stretches of time each, like striking matches.

And that, too is ok, something to accept.

It will be clearer as I go, I suspect, what of this mixture of things carries value.

In the meantime I’m free to do everything at once and this scattered focus, this blissful indecision, is my freedom.

For now, I know how to set myself tasks when I’m inspired, and build up discipline to complete them when I’m not.

And I will have time soon enough to expand and explore. 4 1/2 weeks.