Attachment

I’ve been dancing for years around this Buddhist idea that attachment is unhelpful and leads to suffering - because as we know everything changes and whatever you choose to attach yourself too can be lost; or as my teenage mantra would have had it: everyone leaves, everything changes.

Being adaptable to change is key to surviving and thriving in your circumstances.

Being able to anticipate, predict and prepare for change will give you commercial strategic advantage.

I’ve been working through a series of attachment issues over the last few years.

I’ve worked out how to be less attached to other people’s fidelity.

I’ve worked out how to be accepting of all possible (imaginable) outcomes to an event, situation or decision - there is always a silver lining and if you don’t get your most favourable outcome, everything can be an opportunity, even if it’s just to do something else, or something new, or learning how to deal with upheaval in a new way.

I’ve worked out how to be less attached to people’s perception of me, and more assertive in accepting my own image of myself, which is constantly developing and reconstituting itself.

I’ve noticed I’m really struggling at the moment with attachment to my meaning to other people and my role in their lives; I really want to matter to other people, to be special, irreplaceable, cherished and unique and have them demonstrably convince me of it. Which is daft because some people are demonstrative and I totally take it for granted.

I think a lot of attachment is about feeling in control; we’re rarely ever in control so it doesn’t make much sense to hang too much on that.

What would you do if you lost control? If the opposite happened?

What would I do differently if I was equally happy whether I mattered to other people or not? What would my life look like?